Life

I am still getting ready for the Moonlight Run in March. It's been almost 3 weeks now! Whenever I have a bad day I tell myself I shouldn't do this, why am I doing this again? Especially when it takes time away from my family, about 7-9 hours a week including travel time (I go all the way up to the Talisman centre because I love it there, also my wonderful brother (with Breanna and his eyes half-closed ha ha)

gets me a free pass. I think that place is my saving grace some days!) I'm trying to train at an intermediate level (not going so good!) and I want to run it in between 52-55 minutes. Preferably 52. Anyway, today was a "bad day". I was doing intermittent sprints (right now about a minute 40 seconds) of 400 meters and I wanted to do 7 of them, but I only made it to 5 1/2! Then I wanted to jog to make up the rest of 40 minutes and I only made it to 32. And at the end my left hip and knee hurt, which could have something to do with the fact that my running shoes are so worn out and have absolutely no support. I've decided to get new running shoes (they're like $140!!!)

and just scrimp the rest of the month on everything else, which I probably won't do because I'm not a good scrimper. But it's a good thought.  The other day someone said "well that's good that you're doing that because you love running." Do I? I love running outside on a warm evening, just running with no gaol in mind except get there, get back. I run down in Fish Creek park and it's so beautiful there, I almost always see wildlife, I pass a river and then come to this super-cool looking restaurant called the Ranche. 

This might sound like a stretch, but I love mixing wilderness and civilization and this sorta gives me that feeling. For example, I've always pictured myself living on a mountain top that you have to get to by helicopter. 

But do I really love running around and around on a track and feeling like I'm going to die if I go too fast too far? Hm. A lot of the time NO!

So I'm doing this because it's a measurable way of saying I can do what I put my mind to. It makes me feel like I can do hard things. It's a tangible way of proving to myself that if I want something and work for it, there's a chance the world will give it to me. It makes me recognize that I'm not powerless, but can affect my life and even the universe in my own teeny tiny way. I will always be an amateur runner but quite frankly I didn't even know I could run at all, and it turns out I can. But if I try my best, and I still don't make my time goal, well, I'd RATHER FAIL than not try at all. Thanks, I just needed to remind myself of this. I'll keep going.

P.S.

Who KNEW that a Joe Louis, which I was craving today (well, I was craving a CRAVE cupcake but it was closed and this was the closest thing to it at 7:30pm) has 450 calories?!?!?!?! It only took me 2 minutes to eat and it was good, but I guess there's a good reason I don't lose more weight from all this running! Sheesh! Not fair!! And I'm still craving a CRAVE cupcake!! And I never deprive myself!! Should I start? They are so oh so good, and I love icing, check this out:

HELLOOOOO!! :)