Life

I am still getting ready for the Moonlight Run in March. It's been almost 3 weeks now! Whenever I have a bad day I tell myself I shouldn't do this, why am I doing this again? Especially when it takes time away from my family, about 7-9 hours a week including travel time (I go all the way up to the Talisman centre because I love it there, also my wonderful brother (with Breanna and his eyes half-closed ha ha)

gets me a free pass. I think that place is my saving grace some days!) I'm trying to train at an intermediate level (not going so good!) and I want to run it in between 52-55 minutes. Preferably 52. Anyway, today was a "bad day". I was doing intermittent sprints (right now about a minute 40 seconds) of 400 meters and I wanted to do 7 of them, but I only made it to 5 1/2! Then I wanted to jog to make up the rest of 40 minutes and I only made it to 32. And at the end my left hip and knee hurt, which could have something to do with the fact that my running shoes are so worn out and have absolutely no support. I've decided to get new running shoes (they're like $140!!!)

and just scrimp the rest of the month on everything else, which I probably won't do because I'm not a good scrimper. But it's a good thought.  The other day someone said "well that's good that you're doing that because you love running." Do I? I love running outside on a warm evening, just running with no gaol in mind except get there, get back. I run down in Fish Creek park and it's so beautiful there, I almost always see wildlife, I pass a river and then come to this super-cool looking restaurant called the Ranche. 

This might sound like a stretch, but I love mixing wilderness and civilization and this sorta gives me that feeling. For example, I've always pictured myself living on a mountain top that you have to get to by helicopter. 

But do I really love running around and around on a track and feeling like I'm going to die if I go too fast too far? Hm. A lot of the time NO!

So I'm doing this because it's a measurable way of saying I can do what I put my mind to. It makes me feel like I can do hard things. It's a tangible way of proving to myself that if I want something and work for it, there's a chance the world will give it to me. It makes me recognize that I'm not powerless, but can affect my life and even the universe in my own teeny tiny way. I will always be an amateur runner but quite frankly I didn't even know I could run at all, and it turns out I can. But if I try my best, and I still don't make my time goal, well, I'd RATHER FAIL than not try at all. Thanks, I just needed to remind myself of this. I'll keep going.

P.S.

Who KNEW that a Joe Louis, which I was craving today (well, I was craving a CRAVE cupcake but it was closed and this was the closest thing to it at 7:30pm) has 450 calories?!?!?!?! It only took me 2 minutes to eat and it was good, but I guess there's a good reason I don't lose more weight from all this running! Sheesh! Not fair!! And I'm still craving a CRAVE cupcake!! And I never deprive myself!! Should I start? They are so oh so good, and I love icing, check this out:

HELLOOOOO!! :)

FUN FUN FUN!!

I love to have fun, especially when it's ACTIVE fun. Every once in a while I take the kids to Gymtastics for drop-in play. It's expensive but I don't even care because it is SO FUN!!!!! Did I say FUN?!? :) Here are some pictures:

Survivor

Today someone said, "the harder it is, the greater the joy. I promise."
There have been people in my life who have said

Stay away, from this victim.

But if you look beside you, you will see I am right there with you.

On that same path.



Survivor.

This is me trying to get a cute shot of my kids before church.

Love it.  Brad and I are obviously not talented photographers, but I think my subjects are a bit difficult too. Actually Jesse is finally at the age where he likes to get his picture taken and does a good job staying put and smiling. He tries to hold on to Breanna but she is not so willing! 

My journal is full and so are the kids' baby books, so I will talk a bit about these two on here. I had a couple of proud mom moments this week. Monday for Family Home Evening we did a lesson on "service makes us happy" and used some cut out fruit and vegetable puzzles as an object lesson.



We all set goals about what we were going to do that week and Jesse's was help mommy. (I promised not to yell and Brad promised to put away his dirty clothes, neither of us succeeded, but anyways...) Jesse was being so good the next day. I said "Jesse, thank-you for helping mommy, that makes me so happy." And he said "like the fruit!!" It was a cool and scary moment to realize he is taking in what I teach him.

Jesse is so loving and compassionate. Today Breanna had her first real diaper rash (long story). She cried and cried. Jesse brought her a stuffed giraffe to hold. He kissed her and even in the middle of her scream she leaned in to kiss him back. He was so matter-of-fact about it. When I drop them off at babysitting at the gym, Jesse will say "Mom, I kept Breanna safe!" Jesse is always helping her get up on things like couches and train tables and beds by pushing her up by the bum. It takes all his muscles but she always ends up where she wants to be.  I'm so glad they have each other! He also has a crazy memory, didn't get that from me, but I love it.

As for Breanna, she says so many words, I'm not sure if that's normal for her age, but it makes me proud either way! My favorites are "Moe!"(you need the high-pitched voice and the inflection to get the full effect) meaning more, which she says whenever she wants to eat, and "baba" for bottle. She also sings along with me to Old McDonald by saying "EIEIO" and on his farm he had a "Daw" (for dog) with a "woof woof" here. I also love the way she says "No-no!" so emphatically and "yeah!" in a sing-song voice like down up! down (if that makes sense). For example "bAby, yaAah!" She has taken to saying "MOMMY!" all the time because whenever she says it I respond. So she says it just to make sure that still works. I also love her morning "hi mama!"

Well, that's all for now!

Wow-WEE!!

So I just followed a link to an article (do-dee-do!) on children and family (la-la-la) written on a well-known liberal blog (hum-drum).....

TO FIND THIS! (some quotes):

"My understanding of reproduction is that it is the basis of the institutions of marriage and family, and those two provide the moorings to the structure of gender and sexual oppression. Family is the social institution that ensures unpaid reproductive and domestic labour, and is concerned with initiating a new generation into the gendered (as I analyzed here) and classed social set-up. Not only that, families prevent money the flow of money from the rich to the poor: wealth accumulates in a few hands to be squandered on and bequeathed to the next generation, and that makes families as economic units selfishly pursue their own interests and become especially prone to consumerism.

So it makes sense to say that if the world has to change, reproduction has to go. Of course there is an ecological responsibility to reduce the human population, or even end it , and a lot was said about that on the blogosphere recently (here, and here), but an ecological consciousness is not how I came to my decision to remain child-free."

This is why- wait for it!:

"I was raised in an extended family setting with a lot of women, and as they got married, I noticed their lives becoming either extremely stressed (if they chose to work) or extremely limited in their scopes, and sometimes even threatened in a pregnancy. This feeling was reinforced when people's indifference to women's condition frustrated me.

Another feeling came from growing up near the poor: married people become much less charitable when they had their children to ‘take care of’, which means expensive schools, football clubs, game consoles, etc., etc. Because of the social premium on marriage and family, the poor also have children, only their children have no future and can easily be exploited by the economic system. If families are for raising and 'taking care of' children, what about the poor and their children? With high incidence of domestic violence, child abuse and 'juvenile delinquency', there are little 'family values' that the underprivileged can realistically talk of."

I love that I live in a free country, where people can hold and express their opinions. I love that this woman has the time, education and vocabulary to philosophize and think and make these assertions. I know (I hope?) that there are a teeny tiny minority of people who feel this way. But EXTINCTION? This is where Godlessness and moral relativism lead- to the ugliest, most meaningless conclusion. And, I guess that is exactly where these thinkers will find themselves within the generation. Okay, so I've had a bad Mom day- week- (3 weeks) and I can't sing the praises of motherhood right now, but I do know that I believe in God, truth, progress, humanity, hope and beauty, the meaning of life, and a bright future for the world. Plus look at these two!!:

Can't sleep

Can't sleep, so I'm going to blog. Makes me feel like someone is listening. I love that about this virtual world. Today I went to a class called "Group Groove". Wow. A month ago I was jogging 6 miles and could actually feel the strength and definition in my legs. After a lot of slacking I now look to this to get my heart rate up:

 So I'm not in the picture, but you get the idea. I was just too sore to run from my workout on Monday. It was fun. I amaze myself at how little pride I have sometimes. I actually got pretty into it.  (I know I sound really mean and snobby, sorry, but these are my thoughts nonetheless.) Now, in the summer I did this Super-sprint triathlon with my friend Claire.

 

It was something in my life that I can say I overcame a lot of fear and several obstacles to accomplish. I did well, but I didn't know that at the time I finished the race. All I could think was, Sarah, you did it! You can accomplish what you put your mind to! So now I am seeing the Moonlight Run in Lethbridge in my future and I have to decide if it's something I want to do. It would take every ounce of courage and motivation I have to try to get to a level I would be okay with in that 10k. But I remember the feeling I had after that triathlon and maybe it is worth it. Maybe life is worth trying at! So I think I'm going to start training again, yes it will take a lot of motivation and a bit more time away from my family, but I will try to make the time I am with them more quality. One way I want to do that is getting rid of this Sarah:

  and this Sarah:and this Sarah:

And try to be more like this:

"Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine." 

— Gordon B. Hinckley

"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." 

— Gordon B. Hinckley

"Stop looking for the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight." 

— Gordon B. Hinckley

and finally, my one New Year's Resolution:

"Forget yourself and get to work." 
— Gordon B. Hinckley

New Years Fun

Breanna dancing

Jesse after the balloons dropped at 8:30pm. What a party.

Jesse dancing, I'm telling you, the kid has moves!

Breanna's a party girl.

Jesse dancing with Avery at the dance. It was pretty hilarious. Jesse (I swear) has a good eye for pretty girls. His first love was Tinkerbell on the wipes container. Anyway, he saw Avery and Heidi in their Christmas dresses and was instantly taken. Poor Avery was forced to dance with him if only for the picture. And my heart was breaking because I don't want this to be a foreshadowing of the future.

Sledding with all the cousinsthe day after the dance. This was the most perfect hill. Too bad Jesse was sick and didn't enjoy it at all. I love things like this. At least all of the other kids had a blast!

Chocolate Chip High

So, it's 2:30 in the afternoon, my son has been watching TV for an hour and counting, I'm in my housecoat, my housework is very obviously neglected, and I've just eaten about 2 cups of marshmallows and a cup of chocolate chips. I stayed up past one AM last night reading a copy of my Mom's newest book (and helping her with the ending), not yet published but I have no doubt it will be. I honestly could not put it down. It's called Angel, but I'm not saying anything more than that! Okay, so my mom is pretty much the only one who reads my blog, but just in case. It's brilliant. My son is sick. My husband's going to be late coming home from work so I'll have to put the kids to bed. I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Come to think of it I didn't brush my teeth last night either because I forgot- I was too busy reading my mom's book. So I've felt like I was sleepwalking until now and was thinking my day is wasted and I might as well resign myself. However now I am on a huge sugar high! That is what eating chocolate chips does for me!! Always has! I don't usually have them in the house, or any treat for that matter. Keep in mind I don't even drink pop and am very aware of what I take into my body. Later I will get a bad headache. But for now, my kids are happy and Jesse's now building something with blocks and Breanna-woops, Breanna has one of the "learn to read" DVD's I picked up from the Library-and I, I feel like I can do something with my day! And I'm not sure that's a good thing... :) 

I Love the Temple

This is a video my husband made as an introduction to a wedding he shot this fall. Enjoy...