"I'm sorry Mrs. Social Worker, my baby was screaming and exhausted and when she finally fell asleep it just wasn't worth it to me to wake her up to take my son to preschool across the street this one time."
"I'm sorry Mr. Social Worker, I do let my kids play in the back yard unsupervised, but I make sure I can always hear them!"
"I'm sorry, Ms. Social Worker, for letting my children run around at the grocery store, and yes sometimes they are out of my sight for a second. But I always call out to make sure I know they are safe..."
"Alright, Ms. Social Worker, I only bath my baby once a week and sometimes don't change her wet diaper for a few hours and after changing her outfit for the 4th time that day finally allow her to be naked."
"Yes Mr. Social Worker, I got so frustrated the other day that my child COULD NOT figure out the difference between the number 12 and the number 20 after 3 hours that I threw the workbook on the ground." (that was a particular low point)
"I know, Mr. Social Worker, I shouldn't let my baby eat dirt and sand on a regular basis."
BUT Mr. Social Worker, these kids are my life. I have no life outside my family. My world revolves around them....hey look at this cute picture of Afton sitting on my kitchen counter playing with the can opener! What's that you say? Should never let baby sit on the kitchen counter and play with dangerous kitchen tools? Would it help if I did her hair and put a humungous brightly colored flower in it?
Hahahaha!
ReplyDeleteI LOVED this post.
I always had a wicked social worker in my head, too, as I raised my children. Mine was a she. She told me over and over that my children would all grow up to be disasters. Well, nyah nyah, Mrs. Social Worker - all my children grew up to be beautiful and brilliant and hard-working and accomplished and FANTASTIC parents.
Who you should really be listening to is your inner mother who says, never never never leave your children alone in the house or the car or the store for even a minute!
Love you, Sarah!