I know I'm bordering on sounding crazy here, but I wish I knew what people thought of me. Not the good things, but the bad things! When I was young, like, 11, there was a girl I really liked who decided she didn't like me. She was the ring-leader of all the girls I went to church with so it turned into a bad scenario and lasted until I was 16 or so. I would hear about some of the things she would say about me, always making fun of me for being a "goody-goody", inviting everyone to sleepovers and get-togethers and not me, hiding my coat, my favorite coat that I really had to sacrifice to buy, convincing people not to invite me to their birthday parties, but mostly just completely and totally ignoring me along with all her friends. I never knew why she didn't like me, and I wanted to so bad. I just wanted friends, even one friend- so bad.
Oh Sarah! It's Ortensia! What a perfect post to connect with you. I found you through Jill. I can't believe you went through that. How terrible! And if you are crazy, then so am I! I too will feel like - just tell me why you hate me and get it OVER with! But really, what other people think just doesn't matter. They aren't ever right. We know ourselves best and are our best critics. we don't need others to tell us! I think she was jealous of your beauty, beautiful long hair, your sweetness and all your other gifts. And probably that you didn't let her get to you in a way that she could see. Anyway, I hope you don't mind that I found you. I'm at oinorton@gmail.com. TAKE CARE!
ReplyDeleteI racked up so many sick days in junior high pretending to be sick, it was horrible. Everyone called me mean names because I was fat but I was only 80lbs so now I look back and wonder how I could believe it. And having a speech impediment not being able to say R's with my name and that all equals a really bad time!
ReplyDeleteI've never heard a bad thing spoken about you; but I also have wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall. THEN had the opportunity and realized how just overrated it is! YIKES!
Hope you didn't mind me screaming you down the other day on the path. It was fun to look up and see you! let's play soon!
I think I know who those girls were, and every one of them is inactive now except you and one other girl. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise to not be included. :)
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