If there's one thing I can't stand, it's....
A Cool Group.
In crowd, popular group. whatever.
Why do I bring this up? Because today I saw it happen with a couple of 4 year old boys. Jesse was so excited to see his "friends." But they left Jesse out the entire time, ran away from him, ignored him- even though he was trying so hard to play with them. Jesse always had to be the bad guy even though he hates to be the bad guy. They even sat together and whispered secrets to each other at the lunch table-while looking right at Jesse- and wouldn't let Jesse hear the secrets. Okay, so they are four. But why don't you just put your hand down my throat, rip out my bleeding heart and let me slowly die as I watch? Hm. That got a bit out of control. But seriously, it was a bit painful sitting there with my dear friends watching this go on and having to bite my tongue and smile and pretend to ignore it.
Last summer I saw it manifest in a group of 12 and 13 year old girls at a church girl's camp. They stood in circles the whole weekend, dressed the same, and gave fake smiles whenever you caught them looking you up and down. It made the whole thing so totally un-fun for everyone else, because of course if you're 12, you care. And if you absolutely adore the 12 and 13 year olds who are being left out (as I do)...you care.
Why do I bring this up? Because today I saw it happen with a couple of 4 year old boys. Jesse was so excited to see his "friends." But they left Jesse out the entire time, ran away from him, ignored him- even though he was trying so hard to play with them. Jesse always had to be the bad guy even though he hates to be the bad guy. They even sat together and whispered secrets to each other at the lunch table-while looking right at Jesse- and wouldn't let Jesse hear the secrets. Okay, so they are four. But why don't you just put your hand down my throat, rip out my bleeding heart and let me slowly die as I watch? Hm. That got a bit out of control. But seriously, it was a bit painful sitting there with my dear friends watching this go on and having to bite my tongue and smile and pretend to ignore it.
I see it everywhere with adults, too. Gossiping. Judging. Ostracizing. Even outright pointing and laughing.
I wish we could all just be nice to each other. And I wish I was a big enough person to always love everyone, even people who aren't nice.
What do you think? Any tips? I would love to hear your thoughts! :)
Oh my goodness. I have never felt so sad. My advise is for you to go up to those kids and tell them they are not aloud to exclude him and tell secrets! That is when I would turn into mean Mom. - Rachel -
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above poster, but that being said you aren't always going to be able to fight his battles. It does stink & I agree it is around us far too much. I remember thinking once junior high & high school were over life would be so different as far as cliques go- but alas!
ReplyDeleteCome over and play with us!!! My girls don't have bad guys! LOL!
Breaks my heart to read this :( I'm so glad I wasn't there because I wouldn't know what to do! I'm so grateful, though, that Jesse isn't one of the mean ones. It hurts to hear things like this, but at least there is no shame on his part. Jesse is considerate, kind, easy to get along with, resiliant, and most importantly, he forgives easily!
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