More Reasons, and Afton helps

I think Afton must have read my last post. Maybe she felt bad, because she's sure been helping out around here lately.

She did this for a long time

 She even did under the couch

 Vacuuming

 Sort of starting to eat like a civilized human being

Helping to sort the laundry

(Actually, she kept picking up clothes and handing them to me. Now, I am telling the truth: Every time she handed me a piece of clothing she would clearly say- "here you go!" I was like "WOE! You talk!")

I was also very shocked when I looked in her mouth the other day and she had grown TWO of her molars! No wonder she was grouchy and demanding for so long! This poor little baby is teething and in pain!

I'm still learning to snowboard but I'm really almost there, I just have to learn to go faster. My best friend Sheila is to the right of me and she's really good. I hope to be at her level soon. Plus I love being with her because I laugh and laugh and feel young again! But I'm getting surgery on my foot on Monday so I won't be able to snowboard for the rest of the season. I can't wait until next year. We'll probably get season's passes and go all the time as a family. Brad's taken Jesse a couple of times and he's picking it up and loves it. I do think this will be a fun winter activity for us to do as a family someday, and that's why I want to learn so much. I love being active. Because I'm getting surgery on my foot on Monday I've been working out EVERY day. I've been running, doing my Lindsay Brin workouts (momsintofitness.com LOVE her), going to hot yoga, snowboarding and of course running around taking care of my family. We'll see if I'm not in a mental institution by the time I get my cast off in 8 weeks. I'm going to focus on nutrition (my biggest challenge, especially lately because I have SAD and it makes me want to stuff my face with whatever is the worst for me) and just working whatever muscles I can that will NOT interfere with my healing (which isn't much).

As for the other reasons I'm stressed out I've come up with 2 more:

1. I'm a perfectionist AND competitive. I know I should just let the house be messy but I just can't do it. I mean, not that my house is always spotless at ALL but I am cleaning all the time. I also have to feed my family healthy meals and that requires planning. I know these are good things but I do think there is a strength in just being able to let things go and do things in moderation. I'm working on that skill, but it will take a long time I think. Here's the thing, deep down I am a free spirit and really fun and spontaneous. BUT I feel like if I let go and be that person as a Mom, everything would fall apart. No, I KNOW everything would fall apart. My kids think I'm very un-fun and I'm okay with that for now because I know they are getting their homework done and bathing and getting fed and getting to school okay looking decent. I'm competitive too. This is a BAD combo because it means I am always looking at other people going "how come THEY can do it and I can't??" Also, I get my panties all tied in a knot if other kids can do things my kids can't. I stress over everything about my kids, mostly Jesse. I know it's bad, but again, I'm just learning.

2. I'm trying to do it all myself. When will I learn that Heavenly Father has so much more power than me, that he is in control and that I need to rely on Him? It was so cool, I had an answer to prayer recently because I realized that I just don't have the energy to bring a meal/watch other people's kids every time there is a need. It's hard for me because I feel like I need to be serving, but if I'm stressed out over it, I know it's not a good thing. Well, I was reading my scriptures and felt really strongly that there IS something I can do, something more helpful than a meal. I can pray!! I know it sounds simple, but this was a huge revelation to me!!! So Brad's been really struggling at work for a while and that morning I prayed for a few people in my life. I also prayed that something would click at work and that Brad would be able to figure out the stuff he was working on. So he came home from work and at the dinner table I asked him, how was work today? Did you figure it out? And do you know what he said? He said, YES! I had an epiphany and everything clicked and I got it all done. I was like, WOE! So thank-you Heavenly Father.

I've been putting a lot of time and energy into thinking lately. I know I'm in one of those phases of life where I'm learning, stretching and growing. I'm learning to THINK positively, to rely on Heavenly Father, and I'm learning some more of my weaknesses that Heavenly Father is helping me out with, but I haven't really made any progress on yet. This has been a good weekend and I will talk more about my surgery later.

My special little boy, first time snowboarding!