Lately

 I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and I'm trying to be brave. Trying to figure out if there's a "me" inside this mom machine. I never planned beyond this stage of life, or never thought I would need anything else. But as it turns out, I do. It's scary knowing nothing stands out. I haven't done much these past years except what I thought was expected of me, oh and survived. But I'm being vulnerable and branching out a little, just seeing if there's a talent in there I might develop, a deeper part of me I've ignored, a way to add more colour and variety to my life. I very much value variety and the multifaceted beauty of life.  I know God values me as a whole person. I don't believe I'm just supposed to paste on a smile, fit in and endure to the end, maybe complete a do-it-yourself project as an added bonus. A quick Pinterest browse and I'm satisfied there's enough people out there doing that.

I've started to take action. It requires a bit of planning, some work, some selfishness here and there. I'm going to produce something, hopefully something worthwhile. Give me 10 years.

In the meantime, here's some photos of my life lately, minus the poop, the sweeping, the combing of hair, the laundry, the yelling, the worrying and the dishes.

 My kids performing at the Chinese New Year concert.

 Breanna dancing with a ribbon she got from Santa

Painting  

Afton with her new hat-underpants, and one for her bear too!

Playing "teacher" with friends

Skating-I can't describe how awesome this day was! It was so fun! The weather was absolutely perfect with sun, happy sun! We made it all the way around the lake. I was pulling both of the girls in the sled most of the way. Afton ended up falling asleep as I pulled them. I just love these kids so much. I spend a lot of time teaching them how to survive in society, how to conform and do what's expected.

But I really pray someday they burst that bubble and become all that God wants them to be.