The Chain

I walked in the door with the kids after gymnastics the other day and something mysterious was going on. There were a bunch of ingredients for brownies in separate bowls on the counter. Brad said "Everyone come for Family Home Evening!"

We sang love at home, prayed and then Brad held up a sign with a picture of the family that said "UNITY". He told a story to explain what unity is and then he brought us into the kitchen saying, "time for the treat!"

We gathered around the table and he passed us each one of the ingredients for the brownies. I got sugar, Jesse got eggs and vanilla and Breanna got cocoa. First the kids started to cry! I couldn't help but cover my face and laugh! FinallyBrad explained the metaphor and we all started making the brownies. 

Throughout the lesson the kids kept talking about how much they love each other. I think they felt the spirit, too.

We made a chain with each of our names on it. It hit me really hard. I am a part of this chain! I belong to something so important, something bigger than me.

I felt as if all the horrible things anyone had ever said about me, all the trials I've had in my life, all the mistakes I've made dissolved into insignificance in comparison to my part in this beautiful family.

I felt the spirit as I realized how special this little family is to me and to God, and my part in it.  In my heart I know I will protect it with everything I am, from any force that tries to destroy it. I don't think anything has hit me with such force before.

This chain may be paper, but it's titanium in my heart.

Beginning to See

After I graduated University and I wasn't married yet, I went on to pursue the other thing I always thought I would do: broadcasting. I started out as the teacher's pet. Straight A's and they seemed to love me. My teacher  was  impressed with my scores in their entrance evaluations, an essay I had written, and I'm sure my musical taste (Sonic Youth, anyone?). But then it started. The teacher discovered I was a conservative and I discovered he was a liberal and I spoke out about being a conservative and he spoke out about being a liberal and I realized I was the only conservative in the class and he realized I would challenge him in class and it all changed. He would ignore me and dismiss my questions. I started to lose favor and my grades started to falter just in his classes. In the end I became disillusioned (and fell in love with Brad so I dropped out to marry him and put him through school, but that doesn't do anything to further my case) and realized I was fighting a losing battle. From there I began to learn the extent of it.

There is no such thing as objectivity in the media, and in general I am on the wrong side.

This is a complex topic and it's late, but I thought it was telling when my Mom, who has socialist tendencies for intelligent reasons and I don't fault her for it but now supports Mitt Romney, posted this on the family website:

I was so tired of everyone slamming Mitt Romney that I googled Mitt Romney fan club to see if I could get the other side of things. But no. No Romney fan club. Everything on the internet seems to be negative. Somebody's got to like him! Then I thought, I have four children with blogs. Maybe they could each post something with the heading, why I would vote for Mitt Romney. Or if you wouldn't, at least something positive like he is a smart guy who really could turn the economy around. Or if not that, at least something about how tedious it gets to hear the pundits say such derogatory things. Pundits are like book reviewers: they rain down judgements, but they can't write a book to save their lives. My reply was,  Mom, you are beginning to see. (in no way meant to be disrespectful as my Mom knows she is the wisest person I know and I love you Mom! :) Sarah Palin. (Enough about Sarah Palin) Just trust me, you need to know about and watch Sarah Palin (we're sick of Sarah Palin) Fair enough, but she is at the nucleus of this issue, the mouthpiece and the key to exposing it.  As for Mitt Romney:  GO MITT!!! ROMNEY 2012!!!  And everything else in between. P.S. I know this election is in America but it's just so entertaining (and important) that it's hard to ignore. We have a provincial election coming up and I am looking forward to that also!

Sometimes my brain takes me strange places. Like tonight it's someone's basement-orange and brown carpet, a dart board on the wall, a strange musty smell and lots of boxes. I don't know why, and that's all I have to say about that.


An update of things lately: I've gotten super political. It seems to coincide with when I get hormonal. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I think I'm informing myself and being helpful in informing others. But then I read my Grade 4 report card the other day:


'Sarah has a hard time with group work. She tends to dominate conversations and likes to have the last word. This sometimes causes problems with her classmates.'


Hm.


At least I know I've always been that way :)


There's been a lot of love and cuteness in my life lately.

AFTON: I find it funny. Everything important in Afton's world seems to start with 'b'. So Afton can say a myriad of words! An impressive amount for her age! All with one little sound: 'Buh" 

"Buh- Buh"=bottle, belly button, baby and bye-bye 

"Buh"= bird, button, bear, book, boot and ball.

She also says more and mine with a simple "Muh" 

But she moves her hand at the same time with a "come here"motion making it all the cuter!

She also says "There" (or "duh") and "Where is it? Where did it go?" which is also accompanied by two little hands held up in a shrug. She makes a kissing sound, she kisses a real, juicy, lip-smacking tiny little perfect kiss, and she talks, believe me she talks, with all kinds of inflection and passion! Oh the cuteness of this age! The soft-cheeked, kissable, snuggable, adorable-bummed sweetness of this age! She always has a serious, curious look on her face. I really think she gets a lot more than she lets on. Love her.

 Look at these two. I mean seriously. Seriously, there are no cuter two.

Except maybe these two:

 Jesse was sooo sick this weekend which was sad because his beloved Hunter was here to visit. Hunter spent lots of time with him anyway, taking care of him and teaching him all kinds of stuff as Hunter is wont to do. Jesse woke up first thing this morning, barely able to breathe because of his croup, and sang me a whole funny song Hunter had taught him. Thanks for making these days a little more sunny for my boy Hunter!

We had so much fun at the zoo to see the penguins. They were awesome! I love penguins! It was fascinating and because Jesse is learning about penguins in school he knew facts and was very interested.

The kids with King Tut:

I can't wait until:

- I have my new lamp shade 
- my cast is off and my foot is healed and I can actually really work out again
- Brad is finished school forever! June baby!!

Jesse's birthday was SO much fun! Seriously, I love 5 and 6 year-olds. It's the BEST age! They all just had a blast! This party involved no stress at all, which was great for me, too :)

Indy running away from the boulder.

Blowing out the candles!

Helping Rainbow the Clown

He got awesome presents-lots of lego.

The last of the bunch getting ready to leave. Rainbow the Clown makes the coolest balloons-the kids loved him!!

After everyone left we had a little present to give Jesse. 

Brad was so proud of this find, and you've never seen a boy more pleased with a present!  

OKAY so, the whole day I was looking at Jesse, remembering him as a baby boy.

I loved him so much. Like every parent, I literally thought he was the smartest and most beautiful boy. Yes, I knew that every parent thought that, but I really thought in my case it was just the truth :) Even so, I stressed and stressed and stressed and worried and worried about him. He had to eat the right food, get the right amount of sunlight, couldn't sit in his carseat too long, had to be held all the time, smiled at the right amount, read to, listen to uplifting music, oh my goodness (I would not want to go back and watch myself do that! Painful!)  But yesterday as I watched my handsome boy, so kind and loving to everyone, so fun and active and happy, spiritually mature (more so than me I think) I felt as though I had crossed some sort of threshold. So far, we'd done a pretty darn good job and whatever me, and Brad, and God, and church and extended family had done- we had done a darn good job! 

I feel so eternally blessed to know you and your amazing spirit, Jesse. Thank-you for your example to me every day and for making me want to be a better person. He's 6!! SO BIG!!!!

P.S. Next blog post is an Afton post. She's at such a cute stage and I have to record some of it!