Jesse's Birthday

Jesse turned lucky number 7. And Jesse, we sure are lucky to have you! Jesse was born with boundless energy, extreme curiosity and fascination with life that continues to this day. He has a wild imagination and uses it to create all kinds of entertaining scenarios with his sisters and friends. He's passionate and loyal-I mean, I really think he will always love Indiana Jones, but that translates to other things in his life also. He never has a bad thing to say about anyone and forgives easily. Right now he wants to be an archaeologist and picks books from the library that will help learn about that. He also loves Scooby Doo. Jesse is a perfectionist and competitive, which can manifest in good and bad ways that make me worry all the time; but I'm interested to see where those traits take him in his life. Jesse is an awesome brother and such a good friend. Seriously, I think he has the social awareness of a 20 year old. That can also be good and bad, and again makes me worry a lot! He has a good conscience-he really tries hard to choose the right. His prayers amaze me-they are sooooo long, but he asks for really good things and is always thankful for things like "the grass and the trees and the rocks and the cliffs and the mountains and the lakes" etc.

I think one of my favourite moments in motherhood came the other day when Jesse came to me while I was rushing around in the kitchen and gave me a nice tight hug. He said "thank-you Mom" in a serious voice. I said "for what?" and he said "nothing. I just love you." It was so sincere it stopped me in my tracks and I felt truly appreciated.

Jesse, I love and admire you so much. You are a great kid who makes the world a better place- who makes my world better place.

Jesse is totally into Scooby Doo and also loves treasure hunts and maps so I made up a scenario where a monster stole his presents and in their place was a note from Scooby Doo and Shaggy and a map. I decided not to have parties this year and wanted to do something different so Jesse just invited a couple of his close friends. They had to follow the maps which I hid in the park and at the lake to find the presents. At the end Brad jumped out with a scary mask and I think he really scared one of Jesse's friends! But the kids loved it and took it VERY serious, running as fast as they could from place to place. 

One of his presents was a bunch of scooby doo books I found on eBay. They are hard to find! As you can see he was pretty happy.

And I guess this is what smart kids do when they get together? Haha

 As part of the Scooby theme Jesse wanted cheeseburgers for supper and "cheeseburgers" for dessert. So I made cheeseburger cupcakes and also sent a bunch of mini ones to school with him. They were a big hit!

Jesse eating a cheeseburger cupcake. It looks like a real cheeseburger hey?

 The next day Brad took him and a friend snowboarding. Definitely one of Jesse's favourite things to do.

Happy 7th Birthday Jesse!!!

Lately

 I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and I'm trying to be brave. Trying to figure out if there's a "me" inside this mom machine. I never planned beyond this stage of life, or never thought I would need anything else. But as it turns out, I do. It's scary knowing nothing stands out. I haven't done much these past years except what I thought was expected of me, oh and survived. But I'm being vulnerable and branching out a little, just seeing if there's a talent in there I might develop, a deeper part of me I've ignored, a way to add more colour and variety to my life. I very much value variety and the multifaceted beauty of life.  I know God values me as a whole person. I don't believe I'm just supposed to paste on a smile, fit in and endure to the end, maybe complete a do-it-yourself project as an added bonus. A quick Pinterest browse and I'm satisfied there's enough people out there doing that.

I've started to take action. It requires a bit of planning, some work, some selfishness here and there. I'm going to produce something, hopefully something worthwhile. Give me 10 years.

In the meantime, here's some photos of my life lately, minus the poop, the sweeping, the combing of hair, the laundry, the yelling, the worrying and the dishes.

 My kids performing at the Chinese New Year concert.

 Breanna dancing with a ribbon she got from Santa

Painting  

Afton with her new hat-underpants, and one for her bear too!

Playing "teacher" with friends

Skating-I can't describe how awesome this day was! It was so fun! The weather was absolutely perfect with sun, happy sun! We made it all the way around the lake. I was pulling both of the girls in the sled most of the way. Afton ended up falling asleep as I pulled them. I just love these kids so much. I spend a lot of time teaching them how to survive in society, how to conform and do what's expected.

But I really pray someday they burst that bubble and become all that God wants them to be.

Busy

I have a vision of myself walking leisurely out of my clean, comfortable home into the warmth of my yard, the birds singing and my children playing with friends who come and go, a smile on my face and a book in my hand. Then I relax in the sunshine and read for a while, play with my kids and enjoy them and eat a delicious picnic, go for a late afternoon walk or bike ride, then come home and read books to my kids before tucking them to bed.

It's all a blur!

Every day I wake up and run run run to try and accomplish the basics of keeping a family of 5 alive, successful and happy. I feel a constant rush of adrenaline knowing everything I do needs to be done for the sake of my family. A lot of the time all I want to do is lay down and have a nap.

I love being a Mom. And I love what I do. But I do not like the constant rush.

In reality if my kids want someone to play with I have to set up a "play date". When they play at someone else's house I have to drive them there and then pick them up a couple of hours later. In reality, my home is never as clean as I would like and it is a constant battle to keep it organized and liveable. In reality if my family wants to eat I grocery shop which involves parking and sloshing through muddy snow with my shopping cart and meal plans and lists and good timing so I'm not stuck in line for an hour. In reality there's not breakfast, lunch and supper, there's breakfast (snack) lunch (snack) dinner (snack) and each of the six meals requires cleanup.

In reality I read the same book for months and years because for me to grab a stretch of time for reading involves a lot of TV for the kids, manoeuvring, husband-power and guilt, and definitely some catch-up time.

In reality if my kids want exercise I have to take them somewhere- the park, sledding, on a walk, to basketball or ballet. And school is not just a place to send them for 6 hours- they come home with homework, which is basically my homework as I have to sit with them and help them, and then there's things to sign and read and they need to wear a traditional costume for Chinese New Year and they need a shoebox for a social studies project and they need to learn this song and pay this much for fun lunch and wear this color on this day.

So anyways, it's very busy and it gets to be too much sometimes. And I don't think I need to go back and live the life of a pioneer so I can stop complaining. I just think it's overwhelming, maybe not for everyone but for someone like me, who just wants to walk outside into the sunshine and play with my kids and read a book, it is :)

(Secret Garden-The book we just finished)

Merry

 We had such a merry, merry Christmas! What a wonderful holiday full of feelings of gratitude, love, fun, relaxation and a bit of exhaustion. We slept under the Christmas tree, watched Christmas movies, went bowling and swimming, sledding and snowboarding, did a big Christmas puzzle (my favorite, personally), had a talent show, played with Wind Horses, played a game of Deal or No Deal in which we won $200, ate lots and lots of yummy food with Grandmas and Grandpas and Nana and aunts and uncles and cousins, opened presents, went to a play place, played games, danced the night away for New Years Eve, went and looked at lights, built lego and baked apple pies. I felt so blessed this Christmas! I am so lucky to have so much family and so much love in my life. I loved having my kids home from school, close to me where I could look at their wonderful little faces any time of the day. I loved not having to see anyone but people I really liked for a couple of weeks.

 It amazes me every year when this happens. 

  Nana's house is always a good time. My favorite part was a basketball scrimmage because I actually got some points and even though I suck so bad, I love it. We had some great talents at the talent show. Brad showed off the Deal or No Deal game he built in Excel, Nana read 2 beautiful poems she wrote. My brother played the Cello. He's been practicing this year and his wife Katie accompanied, also she wrote that version of the song. Candace and Dave did a super funny show/lip sync-I actually still laugh when I think about it. Dallas is getting so good at piano. I did a rap and my kids did their little talents (piano, dancing/basketball and singing in Mandarin. Oh and Afton as Santa Clause of course). The only bad part was that the Masons couldn't come, my kids were especially sad about that.

This scene means a lot to me because after I had it all set up and Brad was downstairs wrapping my present (hehe) I stood and looked at it and I must admit I shed a few tears. I had a vision of what my life was like in another time and thought, this is everything I ever hoped for and thought I might never have. A husband I love who loves me and healthy, wonderful kids that call me Mom. And though it may seem shallow, I was especially glad in that moment for my material blessings.

When I think of this Christmas I will think of Afton with her Santa hat on saying "ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!" "I Santa Clause!" and singing jingle bells and the Mandarin version of it and saying "Christmas Lights!" with her little lisp. 

Finished! Something else I finished this holiday season was the Insanity program, only missing a few workouts over the two months. I even worked out over Christmas. I loved it and totally recommend it for anyone who's already in good shape (I tried it a year ago and couldn't do it). It felt like a real accomplishment.

Girl cousins in their party dresses!

Happy New Year! (What am I looking at?)

It seems Jesse has surpassed me in his snowboarding skills. It had to happen sometime!

We also ended up with a small dose of sickness but I didn't get it, thank goodness. I LOVE IT when my kids are sick. It's the only time they lay around and let me cuddle them and don't make messes. They become so cute and loving. And they don't seem to mind too much all the attention and doting either.

Good times.

Now back to the grindstone.